Bitter Pill to Swallow

Forgiveness...is definitely a bitter pill to swallow.  I guess that is shallow of me to admit...but man...it really is tough sometimes.

Now I'm NOT talking about those times when someone hurts you, or you have a disagreement with someone, and you both talk and work things out.  Nope, not those times.  Those times are going to happen.  And, they can actually be good.  You may learn something about yourself and/or grow....same can be true for the other person involved.  There is not one perfect person on this planet...and we all make mistakes and bad choices.  People are going to disagree.  And ya know what...that is ok!  Those times deserve forgiveness in my opinion.  They feel "legitimate" so to speak.  I feel like those give a disagreement or hurt a kind of "closure".

The times that are the hardest are the times when someone hurts you and there is no closure.  No apology from the other person.  No conversation to "clear the air".  Those times...wow those times...blah to those times!!

It is so very hard for me to want to forgive them.  I truly struggle with that.  I feel like that "let's them off the hook" so to speak.  Why should I do that?  Why would I do that?  Forgiving means that I have to be nice to them now.  Forgiving means I have to be nice to them now.  Forgiving means they don't have to "suffer".  They don't have to "pay" for what they did.  Right?  It means that what they did to me (or you) didn't matter.  My hurt (your hurt) doesn't matter.  Right?

Well while all of those things are true (for the most part).  They are true for our earthly flesh.  Those are things we tell ourselves....things the devil wants us to believe.

A few days ago I received a text from my friend Kim and she shared her devotion for the day with me.  (I won't post it all here because I don't know that I am allowed to do that...and I am not even sure of the devotional it came from to give credit.  I do know it was Wendy Pope though.)  This is my favorite line that she wrote:

"God was teaching me about forgiving others and requiring me to deal with

self-righteousness by having me live right in the middle of offenders."

I say favorite because it felt like she was talking right to me and I knew I wasn't alone.  She goes on to say that "forgiving others is a choice" and that basically, as I stated earlier, the devil likes for you to relive the hurt you felt and will continue to remind you of the hurt.  The more you remember that hurt or offense, the more you focus on it, the less likely you are to focus on forgiveness.


Oh forgiveness!  Here it comes!  God calls us to forgive those who have offended us...whether they ask for it or not.  Whether we feel like giving it or not.  Checkout The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18: 21-35.

Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother

 when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you,

not seven times, but seventy-seven times."  Matthew 18:21-22

Yikes! SEVENTY-SEVEN??  Really?  Well there ya go!  Hmm...well I don't know about you but I have some work to do!  haha!  Oh but wait!  There is more!  In the story the servant refuses to forgive a debt even though his debt had been forgiven.  His master "turns him over to the jailers to be tortured."

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive

your brother or sister from your heart.  Matthew 18:35

Jesus is teaching us how our debts have been forgiven and we in turn need to forgive those that are indebted to us.  If we don't, it really is a slap in the face to The One that has forgiven us.


Today I saw a post from a friend of mine, Melody, about a funeral she had been to yesterday.  Her words struck me.  They go perfectly with how I feel.  It really is beautiful.

"It is so hard for we humans to forgive; It is a journey for us. Words and actions

hammered into our hearts can be so mean and hurtful that we can't find it in

ourselves to forgive easily. Yet God forgives us in an instant and etches

over the ugly with his own words. His own love."

This!  This takes away that bitterness.  God's words of love cover up those ugly words spoken by others.  Think about this as we head into Easter.  God sent his son to take on all of our sin, to bear that on the cross, and to set us free!  How can I not forgive when I have been given all of that?!  I have been given life!  So yes!  Yes forgiveness is painful at times.  But compared to the pain of the cross...there isn't a comparison!