Bitter Pill to Swallow

Forgiveness...is definitely a bitter pill to swallow.  I guess that is shallow of me to admit...but man...it really is tough sometimes.

Now I'm NOT talking about those times when someone hurts you, or you have a disagreement with someone, and you both talk and work things out.  Nope, not those times.  Those times are going to happen.  And, they can actually be good.  You may learn something about yourself and/or grow....same can be true for the other person involved.  There is not one perfect person on this planet...and we all make mistakes and bad choices.  People are going to disagree.  And ya know what...that is ok!  Those times deserve forgiveness in my opinion.  They feel "legitimate" so to speak.  I feel like those give a disagreement or hurt a kind of "closure".

The times that are the hardest are the times when someone hurts you and there is no closure.  No apology from the other person.  No conversation to "clear the air".  Those times...wow those times...blah to those times!!

It is so very hard for me to want to forgive them.  I truly struggle with that.  I feel like that "let's them off the hook" so to speak.  Why should I do that?  Why would I do that?  Forgiving means that I have to be nice to them now.  Forgiving means I have to be nice to them now.  Forgiving means they don't have to "suffer".  They don't have to "pay" for what they did.  Right?  It means that what they did to me (or you) didn't matter.  My hurt (your hurt) doesn't matter.  Right?

Well while all of those things are true (for the most part).  They are true for our earthly flesh.  Those are things we tell ourselves....things the devil wants us to believe.

A few days ago I received a text from my friend Kim and she shared her devotion for the day with me.  (I won't post it all here because I don't know that I am allowed to do that...and I am not even sure of the devotional it came from to give credit.  I do know it was Wendy Pope though.)  This is my favorite line that she wrote:

"God was teaching me about forgiving others and requiring me to deal with

self-righteousness by having me live right in the middle of offenders."

I say favorite because it felt like she was talking right to me and I knew I wasn't alone.  She goes on to say that "forgiving others is a choice" and that basically, as I stated earlier, the devil likes for you to relive the hurt you felt and will continue to remind you of the hurt.  The more you remember that hurt or offense, the more you focus on it, the less likely you are to focus on forgiveness.


Oh forgiveness!  Here it comes!  God calls us to forgive those who have offended us...whether they ask for it or not.  Whether we feel like giving it or not.  Checkout The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18: 21-35.

Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother

 when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you,

not seven times, but seventy-seven times."  Matthew 18:21-22

Yikes! SEVENTY-SEVEN??  Really?  Well there ya go!  Hmm...well I don't know about you but I have some work to do!  haha!  Oh but wait!  There is more!  In the story the servant refuses to forgive a debt even though his debt had been forgiven.  His master "turns him over to the jailers to be tortured."

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive

your brother or sister from your heart.  Matthew 18:35

Jesus is teaching us how our debts have been forgiven and we in turn need to forgive those that are indebted to us.  If we don't, it really is a slap in the face to The One that has forgiven us.


Today I saw a post from a friend of mine, Melody, about a funeral she had been to yesterday.  Her words struck me.  They go perfectly with how I feel.  It really is beautiful.

"It is so hard for we humans to forgive; It is a journey for us. Words and actions

hammered into our hearts can be so mean and hurtful that we can't find it in

ourselves to forgive easily. Yet God forgives us in an instant and etches

over the ugly with his own words. His own love."

This!  This takes away that bitterness.  God's words of love cover up those ugly words spoken by others.  Think about this as we head into Easter.  God sent his son to take on all of our sin, to bear that on the cross, and to set us free!  How can I not forgive when I have been given all of that?!  I have been given life!  So yes!  Yes forgiveness is painful at times.  But compared to the pain of the cross...there isn't a comparison!

If it's good...tell them!!

Well look at me...twice in one month!  ;)


I was talking with one of my teachers yesterday afternoon after classes were over.  We were just catching up really.  Things are always so nuts on Tuesdays that it is something that neither one of us get to do very often.  I would like to first that we have a lot of great teachers...all of our teachers actually.  Some I know better than others.  This particular teacher I have known since we started homeschooling and I absolutely adore her.  She is an inspiration as a homeschooling mom.  She has two grown children that are amazing!  She has been teaching with us for a very long time and she truly is one that loves to teach.


Many, many years ago she had gotten a complaint and it effected her so deeply that she did not teach the following year.  It is amazing what that can do to someone.  Those types of things can...sometimes...truly shake someone that has a heart for what they are doing...and what they feel God has called them to do.  It hurts your heart to hear those things.


She went on to say how over the years she had kept cards from her students.  Most of the time a teacher just gets a card that says "love so and so"...but occasionally they get a heart felt note expressing deep appreciation for their investment in that student's life.  A thank you note!  She told me how she will look through those from time to time and how good they make her feel.  How special those cards are to her.  What an awesome feeling that must be to know that you impacted someone in a special way.  That impact could be a year of teaching, an incident of extended grace, a shoulder to cry on, or any number of things.

Not all "incidents" need to be extensive or "life changing"...and it doesn't have to be a teacher either.  It could be anything, or anyone, that had an impact on you in a positive way.  A waiter that is super patient with your two year old.  Someone offers you a job when you are down on your luck.  It can be as simple as someone being kind to you. I could truly go on all day...but I think you get the point.


Too often we are wired to only comment or send an email when we are NOT happy.  Why?  Why not use our words for good.  Why not use our words to lift up...instead of tearing down.  (I'll come back to this in a moment.)


Now don't get me wrong, sometimes there is a need for constructive criticism.  But shouldn't we make sure we handle those situations the way God would want us to...and let's be honest...in an ethical manner?

I will be the first to admit...I am not the greatest at this either...I am not a fan of conflict.  Sometimes things in life can be a huge misunderstanding...and your conversation could be all that is needed to clear up that misunderstanding.  You don't know what kind of day that person was having...and they don't know what kind of day you were having.  

So now to the point...say thank ...to someone that matters!  Aren't we always teaching our kids to say thank you!  You never know what an impact your "thank you" will have.  Say it to the person!  Say it to their boss!  And say it to their boss's boss!  haha!  What if your waiter did 100 good things and only 1 bad (or perceived bad...because there are ALWAYS two sides to EVERY story).  That one "bad" thing may be the only thing his boss hears about.  Let's use our words to encourage and lift up others.

I am encouraging you today to tell someone when they have done a good job.  I am encouraging you to write a thank you note to someone that has been a shoulder to cry on if they caught you in a "moment".  Your friends are supposed to be there for you...the Lowe's guy...not so much!  :)  Tell Bob's boss how appreciative you are that Bob at Lowe's didn't freak out when you started crying on him....or how he played with your two year old why helping you pick out the perfect toilet seat.  That might be the only thank you that Bob gets in his "file".  Or heck send Bob a thank you note too so when someone loses it on him one day he can go to his locker and read your heart felt thank you note and remember what a good guy he is.  Anyone that has helped you in any way!  Even if you think it is insignificant to them.  Even if it was a year ago.  I plan on being better at this!  I hope you will too!

Can't do it alone!

Sooo....been a long time since I posted anything.  I hope that will change and I can do better at this and post more often.


I have always been a "no I got this", "I can do it alone", "nope I don't need any help" kind of girl.  I don't know why that is.  I could start making guesses as to why and I have a few really valid reasons I am sure, but none of those are really important.  I am just super independent.
I know my last post mentioned why I love trees so much.  If you haven't read it, I would love for you to check it out.  I have always loved paintings of a single tree on a hill...or off to the side of a pasture.  Trees make me happy.  It makes me think of that family tree that I love so much.  I mean come on....look at that picture!  Beautiful!!

Recently my brother in law had to have a sextuple bypass...rather unexpectedly.  And yes you read that correctly...SEXTUPLE!  That would be 6....count them....6!!!  He was only supposed to have a quadruple (4).  My sister and her husband's family and friends immediately rallied when they told everyone.  My mom and I drove out to help with my nieces and to be there for my sister and her husband as well.  I was beside myself with worry.  I trust the Lord entirely and know that His way is best...but it was so hard not to give in to that worry.  I am a doer and a fixer so I wanted to do anything and everything I could to help.  I would have preferred to make it just go away all together.  I had to "settle" for praying and just being there.

Surgery was a success and he is doing great!  It was blessing to see God move that day for him.  He is a great husband, father, and friend!  So thankful God heard our prayers and he is on the mend!


On our drive home from Arkansas we left just before dawn to avoid traffic on the way.  It was hard to leave but we needed to get back.  It always is difficult to say goodbye because that area just screams "home" to me and my family is there, but this time is was harder.  My girls were tired so they went straight to sleep and my mom dozed off as well.  I had some quiet time to just drive and reflect on our week.  The sun was coming up over the fields (lot of flat, farm area through there) and the trees.  I always feel like it is one of the most beautiful drives.  I really wish I could have taken a chance to take a picture of the sunrise.  This picture is from last June when we were headed home...so you get the idea.

As I was driving...watching the sun come up from behind the trees...I couldn't help but notice the families of trees.  The trees that were together...not the single trees...were just as beautiful and mesmerizing as my single tree on the hill.  Those trees were huddled together on the side of a field or surrounding a family cemetery.  The sun...The Son...was showing me something I had been missing. He wanted me to see them with Him shining through in the background.  For me, it was just a visual of what I had been experiencing that week.  We need family.  We need people in our lives that speak truth to us.  We are not made to function alone.  He has designed us in that we shine the best when we are surrounded by family.

Whether your family comes together for you in times of need to pray, give up a day of work to come sit with you, cook a meal, love on your kiddos, change a flat, listen for hours at your struggles...or the many other things that they could do...that is what God's design for you us is.  Community!  The great thing about that is...sometimes we are blessed for that family to include friends.  And in some cases friends are our family.  I am thankful I have a great mix of both!  We can't do this alone!  Thankfully I don't have to and I hope you don't either.

I leave you with these:

(I love the different versions of this verse!)

"A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. "  Prov. 17:17 (NLT)

"A friend loves at all times..."  Prov 17:17 (NIV)

"Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble. " (MSG)

"And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities".  Hebrews 10:24 (AMP)