Ever since we have been doing homeschool and doing pictures at classes (ya know....like normal school kids..lol), we have done a picture with all three of us girls. The girls were always dressed the same. Same color, or same shirt in a different color, same. I always tried to find something in the same color scheme as well. So cheesy, I know! lol! We loved it though. That is one of the great things about our group. We could run up to the picture room and all three of us hop in for a pictutre together and I would get ones with just the two of them. The three musketeers. The older they got, the girls still matched and I still tried to squeeze in at least one quick picture with them. Oh they would hesitate a bit...but I know they loved it. haha!
Tomorrow, however, is a different story. Tomorrow, Lola and I will do a picture without Kenni. So tonight it dawned on me...that yeah....tomorrow we will do a picture without Kenni. It didn't help, that I also realized that it has been a month since I got to hug her. A whole month without just...just hugging her. So yeah...don't mind me...just going to wallow around in my self-pity for a minute. haha!
Adventures in Missions has a parent ministry to help parents adjust to all that is going on with their racer. One of the things they do is what they call Launch, it is the weekend that the racers leave and you go drop them off. They offer sessions to the parents and joint worship time with your racer. It is two days of time and then you say goodbye.
While we were at Launch, one of the things they told us as parents was: "the worst thing that you can do for your racer, is to be in the same place when they get back as you are when they left". One of the worst things that I can do is to stay where I am. To not move forward in my relationship with God and to not grow while she is gone.
I haven't been doing that. Just gonna be honest. I am still kind of grieving a bit. I realize that that has to sound incredibly disrespectful to someone that has literally lost a child, spouse, or anyone close in their life. I don't mean it that way. I know that I will get to see her again and that this will end, but right now I just miss her.
I know that she does not want me to be sad. And truthfully, I have done way better than I ever thought I would do. I have some great friends that I know are praying for me. I can feel that. I know that I would not be doing as well without those prayers.
So those pictures of cute kiddos dressed alike with their hair fixed special...those pictures are great memories. Tomorrow we have to start a new memory and I need to start moving forward to. I don't want her to get too far ahead of me, ya know. haha! Every time I feel sad or bummed that she is missing a tradition, I need to use that time to focus on moving forward. I don't want to be sitting here, in this same spot when she returns. I want to grow. I want to learn. I want to be better.
While we were at Launch, one of the things they told us as parents was: "the worst thing that you can do for your racer, is to be in the same place when they get back as you are when they left". One of the worst things that I can do is to stay where I am. To not move forward in my relationship with God and to not grow while she is gone.
I haven't been doing that. Just gonna be honest. I am still kind of grieving a bit. I realize that that has to sound incredibly disrespectful to someone that has literally lost a child, spouse, or anyone close in their life. I don't mean it that way. I know that I will get to see her again and that this will end, but right now I just miss her.
I know that she does not want me to be sad. And truthfully, I have done way better than I ever thought I would do. I have some great friends that I know are praying for me. I can feel that. I know that I would not be doing as well without those prayers.
So those pictures of cute kiddos dressed alike with their hair fixed special...those pictures are great memories. Tomorrow we have to start a new memory and I need to start moving forward to. I don't want her to get too far ahead of me, ya know. haha! Every time I feel sad or bummed that she is missing a tradition, I need to use that time to focus on moving forward. I don't want to be sitting here, in this same spot when she returns. I want to grow. I want to learn. I want to be better.
