For a believer in Christ, my appropriate response should be (and is...just keep reading) super proud, honored, thankful, and overjoyed at the prospect of the opportunity that lies ahead for my daughter. Thankful that God chose her and has put a call on her life. Her daddy and I have prayed for her since she was a baby that God would use her in a mighty way. (Same prayer for Lola.) That she would follow God's will in her life. That He would bless her in mighty ways. So basically this is my fault...but I will blame her daddy. haha! Only kidding!
My earthly self is feeling selfish and hurt. Really. Why on earth would she want to spend nine months away from me? I carried her for nine months for crying out loud!! I just let her spend a whole month in Guatemala! Now! Now I have to lose her for no less than nine holidays! NINE! (What is with nine here?) We can't talk every day! I won't be able to physically touch her. I can't help her. I can't get to her. If she is sick I won't be there. Who knows how often we will get to talk and/or see her via video messaging. And as silly as it sounds, I have already shed tears for the days we will miss with her. I know...it sounds very silly. But my earthly self doesn't care. She is my baby and I can't stand the thought of not seeing her and talking to her. She is my first born. She is my sweet Kenni. And she is my friend. I enjoy her company so much. If your child is going into the military you face this. And I am sorry. If your child has passed away...this must seem very unfair and selfish of me. And for you I am truly sorry. I am just being real and pouring out my momma heart here for a minute.
Please know this! I really am beyond proud. BUT! This is what I see when she sits across the table telling me she wants to do this. This little bitty girl wants to go out into the big mean world and tell people about Jesus. (Kenni, left and Lola, right)
I see her excitement! I know that she is 110% sure this is her calling in life. Never seen anyone so sure of anything in their life. She knows!
But let me tell you what else she knows...the risks. About the time this was all getting finalized (well in her head anyway), there was another young man on the other side of the world who was living out Kenni's calling. Also "doing" what Kenni is called to do. His name is John Chau, a young man that felt the call to share the Jesus to a remote island in India. Sadly he lost his life doing that...but that call was the same. (Feel free to google about him.)
I don't care to debate whether you think John was right in doing what he did...only telling the story as it effects my story and where my heart/head are at. I heard about his story and immediately text it to Kenni. Here is the link I sent her:
John Chau was no fool
I did not get a response from Kenni. A day or so went by and I asked her if she had read the link I had shared with her, and she said yes. I said honey I absolutely forbid you to do this! No really! I did! She said no (as in you can't tell me what to do "no"). Please promise me you won't do this, I said. She conceded and promised that she would not do this...next year. Next year she will not put herself in harms way...well no more than what she is going to be in being in the World Race. She looked at me and said this though. (This is the whole reason I am writing this post.) But mom, that is what we are supposed to do. That is what we are ALL called to do. So yeah...nothing like your 17 year old daughter putting you in your place...biblically speaking. It really does blow me away how she truly gets the gospel. Now don't get me wrong...that girl is still 17 and has SO much to learn. haha! She is smart and wise beyond her years sometimes...and other times just typical 17. haha! She is much more spiritually intelligent than I am however.
My head knows that we are supposed to travel to the ends of the earth to proclaim the gospel. (Matthew 28:19-20) My heart does not want that to be my little girl. Just being real! Truthful! Fleshy! (Pretty sure that is a word.) But truly! It IS what we are called to do! It really is! How is that I am being punked by my own kid. Haha! I know for a fact she would go willingly somewhere to share the gospel with people that don't know Jesus. And she won't back down from her beliefs.
SO....I am telling you all of this to say...please pray for my girl. And if you don't mind pray for us. We will miss her terribly! All three of us (myself, Kenny, and Lola) are all very proud of Kenni and what she is doing.
