Kenni's plans for gap year

So I was finally able to "share" Kenni's post about her plans to do the Gap Year program with the World Race today.  It isn't that I am not proud of her...nor was I in "complete" denial that it was going to happen....I just needed time.  Time to process and come to grip with what she has chosen to do next year.  Well that hasn't happened yet...so I posted anyway. haha!

For a believer in Christ, my appropriate response should be (and is...just keep reading) super proud, honored, thankful, and overjoyed at the prospect of the opportunity that lies ahead for my daughter.  Thankful that God chose her and has put a call on her life.  Her daddy and I have prayed for her since she was a baby that God would use her in a mighty way. (Same prayer for Lola.)  That she would follow God's will in her life.  That He would bless her in mighty ways.  So basically this is my fault...but I will blame her daddy. haha!  Only kidding!

My earthly self is feeling selfish and hurt.  Really.  Why on earth would she want to spend nine months away from me?  I carried her for nine months for crying out loud!!  I just let her spend a whole month in Guatemala!  Now!  Now I have to lose her for no less than nine holidays!  NINE!  (What is with nine here?)  We can't talk every day!  I won't be able to physically touch her.  I can't help her.  I can't get to her.  If she is sick I won't be there.  Who knows how often we will get to talk and/or see her via video messaging.  And as silly as it sounds, I have already shed tears for the days we will miss with her. I know...it sounds very silly.  But my earthly self doesn't care. She is my baby and I can't stand the thought of not seeing her and talking to her.  She is my first born. She is my sweet Kenni.  And she is my friend.  I enjoy her company so much.  If your child is going into the military you face this.  And I am sorry.  If your child has passed away...this must seem very unfair and selfish of me.  And for you I am truly sorry.  I am just being real and pouring out my momma heart here for a minute.

Please know this!  I really am beyond proud.  BUT!  This is what I see when she sits across the table telling me she wants to do this.  This little bitty girl wants to go out into the big mean world and tell people about Jesus.  (Kenni, left and Lola, right)

I see her excitement!  I know that she is 110% sure this is her calling in life.  Never seen anyone so sure of anything in their life.  She knows!

But let me tell you what else she knows...the risks.  About the time this was all getting finalized (well in her head anyway), there was another young man on the other side of the world who was living out Kenni's calling.  Also "doing" what Kenni is called to do.  His name is John Chau, a young man that felt the call to share the Jesus to a remote island in India.  Sadly he lost his life doing that...but that call was the same.  (Feel free to google about him.)

I don't care to debate whether you think John was right in doing what he did...only telling the story as it effects my story and where my heart/head are at.  I heard about his story and immediately text it to Kenni.  Here is the link I sent her:

John Chau was no fool

I did not get a response from Kenni.  A day or so went by and I asked her if she had read the link I had shared with her, and she said yes.  I said honey I absolutely forbid you to do this!  No really!  I did!  She said no (as in you can't tell me what to do "no").  Please promise me you won't do this, I said.  She conceded and promised that she would not do this...next year.  Next year she will not put herself in harms way...well no more than what she is going to be in being in the World Race.  She looked at me and said this though. (This is the whole reason I am writing this post.)  But mom, that is what we are supposed to do.  That is what we are ALL called to do.  So yeah...nothing like your 17 year old daughter putting you in your place...biblically speaking.  It really does blow me away how she truly gets the gospel.  Now don't get me wrong...that girl is still 17 and has SO much to learn.  haha!  She is smart and wise beyond her years sometimes...and other times just typical 17.  haha!  She is much more spiritually intelligent than I am however.

My head knows that we are supposed to travel to the ends of the earth to proclaim the gospel.  (Matthew 28:19-20)  My heart does not want that to be my little girl.  Just being real!  Truthful!  Fleshy! (Pretty sure that is a word.)  But truly!  It IS what we are called to do!  It really is!  How is that I am being punked by my own kid.  Haha! I know for a fact she would go willingly somewhere to share the gospel with people that don't know Jesus.  And she won't back down from her beliefs.

SO....I am telling you all of this to say...please pray for my girl.  And if you don't mind pray for us.  We will miss her terribly!  All three of us (myself, Kenny, and Lola) are all very proud of Kenni and what she is doing. 

I feel like we have failed!

When I was growing up I never knew who my dad voted for.  Well there was this one time...he was running for Board of Education (I think)...so I feel pretty confident he voted for himself. haha!  Otherwise...couldn't tell ya!  Oh I had my guesses...but usually he would neither confirm nor deny.  I can honestly say that has never changed.  I don't live with my dad...or even in the same state for that matter...so the conversation comes up even less than it did when I lived at home.  haha!  But like I said, I had my guesses.

I don't look back at this as a bad thing.  I personally felt like he wanted me to do my own research and form my own opinion.  He also wanted me to respect the office regardless of my opinion.  (Well at least I think that is what he was going for. lol)  My parents both taught me the importance of respecting authority and anyone that held an official office.  Respect.  A couple of years ago Obama came to visit Asheville.  It was a Sunday.  I did not vote for Obama...but the buzz of him being here was a bit exciting.  Respect the office.  We actually drove out towards Swannanoa because we knew his barricade was going to be coming back through and I wanted to show the girls.  So, on the opposite side of I40 we pulled over and watched his barricade go by and head back to the airport to leave.  We were within 100 yards of the President of the United States of America!  Very cool!  Respect.

I am trying to figure out how we got to 2017.  How we got to be a country that has lost respect.  A country that can't "agree to disagree".  A country that riots and protests at the drop of a hat.  I honestly do not want to argue with anyone. I really, really don't.  I truly am just blown away by what is going on in our country.  It saddens me really.  I don't want this for my daughters, for my neices, or for anyone.

Let's be honest.  Neither of our presidential candidates for this election were worth bragging about.  We all deserved better choices.  We deserved the best that America had...and we didn't get it.  (Unfortunately in politics...there seem to be very few of those.)  There were things on both sides that were blown out of proportion (and context) by the media.  To be honest, if there is any one entity that Americans should collectively be angry at...it should be the media.  Splice it, dice it, any way you like it...you can't believe anything anymore unless you heard it yourself, in person.  The media are a crafty little bunch.

Quick side note.  Just to be fair, there were a few additional candidates.  Unfortunately, we all knew that voting for one of them was not going to get them a win.  It was more voting your conscience.

Why have we become so filled with hate and anger at one another?  Why would you hate a person that doesn't vote for the same person as you?  Why? We can't all agree on everything.  It isn't humanly possible.  I don't care which side of the fence you fall on, you can't possibly condone all of the negativity and just hate filled posts that are popping up everywhere on social media.  (I will be honest, there have been some funny memes that I have gotten a chuckle out of.  haha!)  There have been violent attacks on individuals.  And can someone help me out with all the state representatives that do not plan to go to the inauguration?  All the protests that are planned.  Oh wait...and a celebrity actually calling for martial law?  Oh mercy!  What have we done?  Where did we go wrong?  As a country!?

We have become a country that, when we don't get what we want, we pitch a tantrum like a two year old.  This is not Upward!  We do not all get to be the winner.  Not everyone gets a trophy.  Why do college students (that are adults mind you) need counseling, pizza, or a break from a test all because their person didn't win the election?  We have failed as a nation if we are raising young men and women to believe that if you don't win, you roll around on the floor and kick and scream.  Nowhere will you hear me say that you can't be upset.  Nowhere will you hear me say that you can't own your feelings...or that you don't have a right to feel that way.  But please know...it is not okay for anyone to ruin a business due to rioting.  It is not okay for a college to let you out of taking your exams because your candidate didn't win the election.  We are not teaching our kids to grow up!  To cope with disappointment!  To deal with life!

I wish more than anything that we, as a country, could all try to move forward.  I wish more than anything that we could see the negativity stop.  I just wish we could all...try.  Donald Trump is our President.  It is what it is.  Whether you or I voted for him or not.  Is there anything good coming from the negativity?  Does anyone really win if people keep fighting?  My fear is no and this will continue to get worse.  If nothing else, respect for the office, whether you voted for him or not.

Life is challenging.  Life doesn't always give you what you want.  We all fail at some point.  We all get dumped or rejected.  We need to be teaching our kids how to deal with these disappointments.  To deal with life!  Whatever you choose to believe in.  We must somehow teach our kids to cope with what life throws them!